A Route To Sisterhood

Sisterhood is complicated.

When she was little, like five to eight years old little, you meant the world to her. She would copy your style, take the same angle for selfies, hang out with your friends which usually led to her being seen as a cool-little-kid and you could sense her pride from afar.

Then the gap started to appear when she knew boys. I don’t know about you, some of you might have had the best heart-to-heart moments with her during this period of time, but not in my case.

Yes, she would tell me their names and how popular they are at school, but not the stories, if you know what I mean. She would sleep in her own room to have hours of phone call later at night and remove you from her close friends list on Instagram, leaving you in the darkness of unknownness. But not for too long.

Since you are her sister, of course your approval opinion matters. Be prepared when she brings him home or sets a “coincidental” meeting with him when you two are hanging out at the mall. You can’t excuse yourself to the bathroom to avoid the unexplainable awkwardness, so you let her introduce “the guy” to you. You don’t care about his name or the cheek-to-cheek smile he practiced all night since he’s been informed of how “picky” you are.

One of them once told me that he read my blog and followed me on Twitter. That was the first and last time we met.

Tips: firm handshake and personable vibe are all we need. Oh and don’t wear hats or fake glasses. You look like a serial killer.

Sisterhood is complicated.

If you happen to be the big sis like myself, I’m curious how many hats you gotta wear every day. You have to set a good example for her while maintaining openness and chillness to make sure she runs to you when shit happens and mothering her when needed.

You become the messenger between the actual mother (and father who surprisingly, more often than not, initiated the chain messages but too shy to ask) and her. You have to carefully paraphrase the message to make it less parent-ly yet firm enough to make a point before you figure out the hardest part: time to deliver it.

You might want to expect her denial and “but that never applied to you!” talking-back. If you are lucky, she won’t shut the door in front of you, take out some of your stuff from her closet, then give them back to you. Or in another word, “Get out from here I won’t tell you anything anymore because you are just like them you don’t understand me!”.

Sisterhood is complicated.

People tell you that you two look like twins. Despite all the fights and different views on lots of things, I find it fascinating how you can manage to get into her head. Read her mind and her dirty plans. Always. You don’t have to guess because you can detect the whitest lies. “Not in my clock,” you murmur every time she talks shit in front of the parents. Then you will confront her with the truth and she will laugh and tell you about this new guy who just dropped her home. I mean fifty meters away from home.

Sisterhood is complicated.

You would give her your kidney without a second thought but she’s not allowed to wear your favorite sweater just because. No particular reason. Maybe you feel like you have shared so much with her and you want to have something only for yourself. But you know you love her and she can take borrow anything, but not that favorite sweater. Or any other clothes that might look good on her.

But you know you love her. For sure.

Sisterhood is complicated.

Clearly you wish the best for her, but sometimes, just sometimes, you can’t imagine if it turns out to be better than what you had back then. You got jealous over the littlest things. A bigger bedroom, a later curfew, a more caring first boyfriend. Without your realization, everything seems like a competition.

You wonder why she’s smarter and prettier with longer legs and softer hair. Why her love life isn’t as shitty as yours and her friends are cooler than yours. You keep feeding your mind with endless why’s until she expresses her inferiority over a Netflix night.

How she blames herself for breaking up with him and believes that she’s not good enough for anyone else. Then you will feel bad about having those stupid thoughts in the first place and stare at her beautiful eyes, lightly tap her head, and let her know her worth.

That she’s the best sister you could ever have and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Yes, sisterhood is complicated indeed.

 

PS. I know you read this. I love you too, Poo.